NEW SONG
NOW AVAILABLE

Fresh and crispy at our soundclick page...enjoy the soothing sounds of brand new NESkimos: "(Sea) Snake Man" from Mega Man 3.

As you may recall, this song was one of the 4 that were chosen in our message board by you, the listeners; and since it was the easiest one to record and mix, we figured we'd go ahead and serve it up to you. "Zelda Dungeon" will be finished sometime this week also, and probably a few more along with it. Stay tuned and keep rocking.

If you are a fledling guitar player and want to try to step to the Shredder, test your skills with the newly added tablature to Big Blue...tabbed by Shredder himself!

03/30 headlines

NEW COMIC
END SEASON 1

Or is it?

...Yes.

03/24 headlines

NEW COMIC
THE PLOT THICKENS

Nameless and Flud, Blackheart and Christian tell me that the next episode or two will be the end of the first season, and then they'll take a break and re-charge their brilliant juice before embarking upon Season 2. What shocking revelations await our heroes? CLICK TO FIND OUT!

THIS IS ALSO COOL

A bunch of scientists got together to do a SCIENCE BLOG! It's going to be one of my daily web-stops. These fellows are on a quest to defend science against those who would sully its good name for the advancement of their own agendas, and I salute them. They might not have anything to do with Nintendo music (and may not even like Nintendo music) but they just started yesterday and deserve to hit the ground running.

03/22 headlines

03/20 headlines

SPRING BREAK
ALWAYS SUCKS FOR ME

Three years in a row now, I get sick on Spring Break. Always. This time was a little better though 'cause I wasn't having to watch America stupidly start blowing up Iraq on TV in a NyQuil-induced stupor...that was a very surreal and terrifying experience.

Anywho, we have all the drum tracks recorded, so it's only a matter of time before the rest of the album is done. I'll probably upload the songs as they are finished like I did last time, so expect the first in a week or two. Or, if you'd rather wait and have 'em all be revealed at once, we could do it that way too. We're easy.

So that's where things stand right now. Updates will be rare until songs are ready.

Oh, there's a NEW EPISODE OF THE NESKARTOON available. And it is humor-able to the maximum.

 

03/08 headlines

WHAT A GREAT SHOW
MADE SOME MONEY, TOO

Which means we can go ahead with recording. Next week is Spring Break so that will coincide nicely with album-makin'. In the meantime, I have three tests and a major project due this week, so hopefully I'll get through that all right...then it's time to get started on the new songs, which are, once again:

Double Dragon 2: Stage One Stigmata
Double Dragon 2: Cut Scene
Double Dragon 2: Boss Fight
Metroid: Norfair Tenement Blues (featuring Nasa Travel Agency)
Bionic Commando Movement II
Mega Man 3: Spark Man / Get Equipped*
Mega Man 3: (Sea) Snake Man*
Mega Man 3: Wily's Castle 1*
Mega Man X: Sigma Fortress 1* (featuring Napalm Man on saxophone)
Star Wars: The Cantina Of Fear
Zelda: Dungeon (live version available here)
Ninja Gaiden: Clash Of Blades
...and...
??? BONUS TRACK ???

* decided by the poll in the message board

Thanks again to all the local NESkimites who came to the show and rocked out with us, and special thanks to Crash Man for bringing me the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Coming Out Of Their Shells cassette tape! IT'S JUST WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED!!!

03/02 headlines

NOT EVEN WATER
IT JUST DEFINITELY WAS THERE ONCE

I feel kind of gypped. I thought for sure this 'significant discovery' would at LEAST be the finding of real, actual surface water on Mars. But all they said was that Mars definitely had oceans "at one time." Everyone pretty much knew that already, though.

Way to jump the freaking gun, NASA.

Well as long as I'm updating, I may as well remind everyone that there's a show this Sunday at Backstreets in St. Augustine, where we'll be raising funds for the recording of NESkimo BERSERKER, our third album. There'll be t-shirts there, and they are BLACK. Woo hoo!

To everyone who can't make it to the show, and is dying to hear the new recordings, they should be done by the end of the month. Well, at least some of them will be. They'll all be done, for sure, around the middle of April.

THE WAIT IS ALMOST OVER

03/01 headlines

THEY FOUND SOMETHING ON MARS
THEY'LL BE TELLING US WHAT IT IS TOMORROW

I'm stoked. This doesn't have to do with the NESkimos or anything, but dammit, this is cool.

It will probably turn out to be water on the surface, which they'd been suspecting was there but haven't found yet. That alone is a huge freaking deal, and everyone should take a moment and realize that a little piece of the big puzzle of life and the universe just got filled in. Yes, life can exist on other planets. We now know it for a plain fact. There is no longer any room for disagreement. This means all kinds of exciting stuff is now more than jsut possible, but is a LIKELIHOOD--like terraforming the red planet, like completely re-defining what we thought we knew about the history of our solar system and possibly the universe itself.

But in between tonight and tomorrow there is room to wonder...to imagine what I will feel if those NASA project leaders come on TV tomorrow and tell the world they've uncovered some kind of extra-terrestrial organism. A bacterium...perhaps just a glob of amino acids.

Now, this probably won't happen...I have a feeling such information would have been leaked somehow by now if that were the case.

But for the rest of the night I am free to dream of tomorrow's press conference as the moment when my life is suddenly validated. What a fantastic thing to be alive to witness...the discovery of alien life, the knowledge that we are not alone in the universe, the final nail in the coffin of the Bible, the Torah, the Q'uran, the Tao...the beginning of a new age of enlightenment of mankind.

At this moment I feel more excited than I have felt in many, many years.

(...now back to your regularly scheduled Nintendo cover band website.)

02/26 headlines

NOW THIS RIGHT HERE
IS SOME GOOD FLASH

The tragic true story of the Super Mario Brothers...parts 1, 2, and 3.

TOTALLY worth the download time.

02/25 headlines

SOMETHING NEW
FOR THE KIDS

I think this new logo is so cool I put it on the site, since I knew it needed something like that. It was sent to us a long time ago by a fan, and whoever that was (I kinda forgot): good freaking job!

02/23 headlines

NESKOMIC
EPISODE 5

Now you know why 'dem flags have to come down.

SHOW SOON
OMG!!!!1! :-P

March the 7th. Sunday. Backstreets Coffee House. St. Augustine, FL.

Be there and rock for great justice.

THE MONKEY
REPRESENTS SHARING

I'm now in possession of a COMPLETELY RADICAL t-shirt sent to me by one Jeffrey Rowland, otherwise known as St. Awesome, otherwise known as the drawer of the Wigu comic we all love so much...

 

Possibly the coolest thing I've ever possessed in my life.

WIGU WIGU WIGU WIGU WIGU WIGU

02/18 headlines

NESKOMIC EP.4

Featuring a certain favorite giant energy cannon of mine and yours alike! Check it out.

SO YOU THINK
YOU KNOW GAME MUSIC

Test your skills at GamingFM's "Name That Game" Contest, where you'll listen to 15 samples of music from video games and it's up to you to NAME THAT GAME! Some pretty nifty prizes are involved, but mostly at stake is YOUR PRIDE.

(NESkimo fans have a slight advantage with one of the samples, too!)

02/15 headlines

NEWS
RECORDING AND A SHOW

On either the 6th or 7th of March, we will be having a show at Backstreets CoffeHouse (as seen on MTV) in St. Augustine, FL to raise money for the recording of our third album...

NESkimo BERSERKER

NESkimo Berserker will feature long-awaited tracks from Double Dragon 2, Metroid, Mega Man 3 and Mega Man X (as voted for by our beloved message board constituency), and more, including the dreaded and definitive Bionic Commando Movement II, which is like 10 minutes long and together with BC Movement I, completes the entire soundtrack (with the exception of the opening movie music) and just about spans every sub-genre of metal that we could think of. But we need your help! We ask that all of you from the Northeast Florida region come see our fundraising show in St. Augustine, and anyone from anywhere else in the world that can make it, we'd love to see you too! You don't necessarily have to give us money, of course. But that would make you a bad person. And Mario won't spoon with you, or your girlfriend, without a little money up front.

When we know for sure whether the show will be on the 6th or 7th, we will of course pass that information along. And as long as you're in town, stop by and see Mario and Shredder's other band, PAPERCUTT. Glam-rock goes with Nintendo pretty well, don't you think? Can you say BON JOVI? VAN HALEN? GUNS N' ROSES? YES, I KNEW YOU COULD. Me and Belmont will be there, concentrating on getting sloppy drunk and making fun of Mario's and Shredder's makeup and spandex pants. It will be a fantastic weekend...if you've ever wanted to visit Florida, where it's nice and warm, looks like it's time to make use of those frequent flyer miles.

More to come, and in the meantime, don't forget to watch the Space Ghost marathon on Adult Swim tonight!

 

02/11/headlines

I'M NOT DONE YET
I PROMISE

But there is some new stuff to check out. The blue button (AKA Miscellanea) now does some stuff, although not snazzy or pretty, really. It's pretty much a placeholder right now. When Barnraiser gets going before the month is out, it'll coincide with a new update for that whole section. For now, though, the NESkomic, now in its third episode, is turning out to be a very entertaining read. Everyone should go into the message board and thank all the guys who contribute to this awesome strip.

Okay, anyway, back to school for a while. Stupid school.

02/02 headlines

NEW COMIC
YES

Well, there should be all kinds of new stuff on the site right now, but the stupid people in charge of fixing things on this campus are stupidly being stupid instead of fixing the internet connection in my dorm, so here I am in the computer lab, and the new 'NESkomic' was sitting in the NESkimos' mailbox so I figured I'd better get it up at least! And it's pretty funny, I have to say. Thanks again to Nameless88, Fludbucket, Christian and of course Blackheart for their delectible comicking.

Whenever the stupids fix the internet thingies that make my internet work, there will be a page to house these comics as well as the rest of the lovely fan art we've been recieving. In the meantime, here's the first comic in case you missed it last week.

01/30 headlines

HOLY CRAP
THE BEST NINTENDO BAND EVER

It turns out, the greatest Nintendo band of all time is not the NESkimos, or the Miinibosses, or the Advantage, or even THE NINTENDO SONGS THEMSELVES.

All along, it has been SELECT START.

I'm already fiendishly plotting to exploit the talent of play a show with these guys as soon as possible (they're Floridians also!)...in the meantime, everyone go check them out, and try a little cultured NES music on for size.

(If you have problems with their Java applet-riddled front page, click here instead.)

 

01/26 headlines

TABS
USE THE GREEN BUTTON

One of the four resultant buttons leads to the tabs. The other 3 all lead to the Soundclick page, in exactly the same way, but that's only for the time being. Sorry about the confusion (if there is any).

Also, a few fellows from the forums have assembled a sprite-comic about the NESkimos, which I will put up in a few minutes n' stuff.

UPDATE: A few fellows from the forums have assembled a sprite-comic about the NESkimos, which I have just put up.

01/20 headlines

NEW STUFF
KIND OF

I just uploaded 'Zelda Dungeon' to our Soundclick page. This is one of the many live recordings from our MTV performance (guest starring The Shredder), and I'll get the rest up later tonight.

Also, everyone who wants to see the tabs, our good friend DoomBringer from the message board has supplied us with tons and tons of 'em, and they'll be up tomorrow along with a few of mine.

01/12 headlines

OUR 3 MINUTE MTV SEGMENT AIRED 6 TIMES
THAT'S 18 MINUTES OF FAME

But what does it mean? Taking a literal approach to Andy Warhol's prophetic '15 minutes' postulation, it means we've gone 3 minutes over the threshold.

So, have we stepped through the boundary of standard fame, achieving a firm foothold in the realm of bonafide celebrity?

Or does it mean that someone out there only gets 12 minutes now?

Perhaps our 180-second transgression will be punished in some way; or maybe (and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this one) we are now INFAMOUS.

Whatever the case, I'm here to assure you (whoever's left from the half-million or so site visitors) that www.neskimos.com is a good site to bookmark, since I'm prepared to finally live up to my erstwhile-neglected poohbah duties and finish the site, make it universally compatible, get the tabs online, get the webcomics kickin', etc. etc. Also, at some point in the future, there will be new recordings. Exactly when I cannot say, but they are coming!

Drink your Ovaltine!

01/06 headlines

WIGU STILL FUNNY

As always!

MINIBOSSES ALSO DO NINTENDO SONGS

Many people like the Minibosses. A lot. According to most of these people we are teh pr0v3rb147 suX0rz and teh M1n1b0ss3s r teh ru10rz. Are they right? Go see for yourself! They have many, many songs available and appear to be coming out with a new single soon.

They are not as hard-core as us, sticking more to a groovy kind of style. They have a reputation for being the most faithful to the actual Nintendo songs, whereas we add our own little nuances to them (which is admittedly a hit-or-miss affair).

250,000 HITS SINCE FRIDAY

Wow. Go go gadget MTV! Seriously though, thanks everyone for checking us out and what not. To answer a frequent e-mail question, no we don't have CDs for sale. Why? Because it'd be illegal. However, it is perfectly legal (or as the Asian ethnic sterotype Trade Federation would say, "peh-fectry regah!") for you to download our MP3s and make your own CDs out of them, so please do so! Enjoy!

01/05 headlines

WIGU
TEH FUNNIEST INTAR-WEB COMIC ON THE ENTIRE INTAR-WEB

Truly.

LIVE MP3S AVAILABLE NEXT WEEK
FROM THE PERFORMANCE AS SEEN ON MTV

Keep checking back for those!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, GAMINGFM!!!
THE BEST INTERNET RADIO STATION NOW AND 4-EVAR

It would behoove all of you to put to rest your lame-ass Outkast MP3s and listen to REAL music, straight from the source: GAMINGFM.COM delivers streaming audio of video game music from NES, Genesis, and SNES, all the way up through PS2 and Gamecube, with a large helping of great music from the timeless PC games all the way back from Monkey Island (my personal favorite) to Command and Conquer, Warcraft, Diablo, even You Don't Know Jack. You can make a request and usually hear it within 10 minutes or so. And, of course, the NESkimos are in rotation over there!

In short, there's pretty much never a reason not to be listening to GamingFM. Not even if you're alseep or having relations with a special lady. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE LISTENING TO GAMINGFM. I know I am!

As they say over there: When the game sucks, the music's all you've got.

01/02 headlines

I ♥ BLOODY SNOT
SURGERY RECOVERY UPDATE

Not that any of you care particularly, but I'm doing better lately. Yesterday these giant plastic thingies were taken out of my nose, and ever since my constant headache has improved dramatically. The only problem is, there's scabs and stuff all in the insides of my nostrils so I always feel like I need to blow my nose in a massive way, but I can't. It's remarkably annoying, and it'll probably stay this way for another week or two. Argh.

So anyway, not much else to report. Next week I'll finally finish this front page and also the Miscellanea section, with all the tabs and fan art and stuff. I'll also finally get around to making the site compatible with Netscape/Mozilla, even though I've hardly heard anyone complain about it. It would appear the NESkimos aren't popular within the '1337' community. Oh well. 1'm pR377y w311 st0ck3d uP 0n \/\/4r3z n' pr0/\/, 4nyw4y.

7ru3 d47.

 

COMING SOON
WEEKLY COMIC

An honest Amish boy, Jeremiah saw them kill his family, burn his village, rape his sisters. He was 5 years old.

Now he has returned from 25 years in the woods, studying survival skills from a reclusive guru, to find his family's land underneath a strip mall.

His revenge will be swift, his reclamation of his land just and true.

He is...

...Barnraiser.

01/01 headlines

2004

(GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH, NOW WITH 100% MORE CHEEKINESS!)

It's 2004, and our cars still don't fly. Also, most of our houses still don't talk, although some of them do. We do have flat screen TVs, but at the same time fax machines have gone lackluster and so we don't have one in every room the size of a toilet paper dispenser. In short, society has only left itself 11 short years to deliver to me the world of wonder that I was promised in Back To The Future 2. I realize that we must crawl before we can walk, but it's getting down to the line.

12/30 headlines

SURGERY IS OVER

RECOVERY UPDATE
Tuesday, 30 December [1:18pm]

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow .... ow.

Also, before I came back to consciousness, I was dreaming that I was a Koopa Troopa. Must have something to do with all the Mario Kart: Double Dash I played last night with Protoman and his girlfriend.

It took me five minutes to type that last sentence, and I've been working on this one for at least 2. My fingers are responding to my brain the same way that...that...umm. <metaphor>

Anyway, I kicked some Mario Kart ass last night. Also, did you know that in Super Smash Brothers Melee, the music on the Big Blue arena is from the old motorcycle game Mach Rider? It's odd. I like the strange trippiness of new Nintendo. Or is that NU-NINTENDO? Maybe just nu-tendo.

As I was about to mention earlier, Protoman has the uncanny ability of remembering pretty much every song from every videogame he played as child. Now, when I say remember, I just mean if he hears it he'll know where it's from, since he has a remarkably high ineptitude for music (except whistlin'). Sometimes he'll try to hum the song as a method of explanation and it's really funny. So on the Big Blue arena he's all like "I know this song. I know it!" and then he's all like "Castlevania!" And I'm all like "definitely sounds a lot like a castlevania song," but SSBM is only official Nintendo characters so therefore no Konami allowed. So then he's all like "I know! It's a futuristic racing game!" Then he kept saying "Rad Racer" for about 20 minutes before exclaiming "MACH RIDER!" Then I was like "You mean the one where, when you turn really sharply, your guy sticks out his knee really far so that every sharp turn is pretty much like playfully slapping the ass of impending amputation?" And he's all like "YES!!!"

My hydrocodone has evidently begun to kick in. Ae-wesome.

deviated septum
(MY NOSE IS DEFECTIVE)

Tomorrow, I will be placed under general anesthesia and rendered unconscious while a doctor uses an assortment of metal tools to remove the inner tissue of my nose, file or shear away the fleshy protruberances thereunder, remove my septum (the small chunk of cartilage that seperates my nostrils) and either file parts of it away, or bend it into a new shape (if possible), and then re-insert it into my nose, which will then be somehow re-constructed. Then, right before I awaken, plastic tubes will be placed in each nostril so that I might have at least limited air passage through the crusty, blood-caked buildup that will result from the surgery. I will also have a tiny bucket-shaped collector hanging under my nose to sop up any blood/snot rivulets that may escape the packing.

The strange thing is, they tell me this whole procedure will take less than an hour, and I should be more or less fully recuperated in a few days.

I tell you, modern medical science. Feels good to live in the 21st century.

So anyway, that's my schedule for tomorrow; in less than 12 hours I'll be waking up from surgery with all kinds of pain. I'll get back to the website and such when I recover. I trust things will be well kept in my absence.

12/23 headlines

NICE F***ING TREE, CHARLIE BROWN
YOU BLOCKHEAD

Hey everyone! Just a quick update; last week we had a show (thanks again to everyone who showed up BTW) and this weekend (hopefully) it's time to RECORD! Right this second, as I type, I am waiting for a phone call from Mario so that we may rehearse for the recording session. I guess I can let the cat out of the bag concerning what we're recording, since we did it in the Message Board already:

metroid: norfair
ninja gaiden (with vomitron) [our portion of it]
zelda: dungeon
bionic commando: the next movement
double dragon 2
mega man 3: spark man
mega man 3: snake man/weapon get
mega man 3: wily 1
mega man x: sigma fortress 1

Those Mega Man tracks are, of course, the winners of our first Listener Selection poll which took place in the Message Board over the past couple fo weeks. I think we'll be making this a tradition, so be ready to GET YOUR VOTE ON next time we record. It starts with a list of all the games suggested by everyone, and it gets narrowed down from there.

I'll also be doing more work on the website next week as soon as I recover from my deviated septum surgery which I'm not looking forward to. I am Surgery Man lately.

12/09 headlines

CLICK THE YELLOW BOX
MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD

Right now in the message board, you can vote for the game you'd most like to hear the NESkimos do a song from. Check it out.

Polls close on Friday!

 

12/03 headlines

MY ROOMMATE IS STILL IN THE SHOWER
BAH-RUMP-BUM-BUM-BUMMM

He stopped snoring 15 minutes ago and I thought he may have finally drowned, but no such luck. As I was trying to figure out how to spell "bah-rump-bum-bum-bum" and wondering if there should be so many synonyms for 'ass' in such a merry yuletide melody, I heard an explosive barrage of coughing reverberating from the mildewy bathroom walls. Maybe it's a good thing. I mean, yeah it'd be great for him not to be alive anymore, but how do you handle that situation? Dead, naked roommate in your dorm bathtub. Now what do you do? Who do you call? Do you just try to act like there's not a corpse in there? If you do call someone, what do you say? "Well, the last time I was in the room he'd been in the shower for about 12 hours, and then I came back and it was still on, so I figured I'd better check it out." "You didn't think anything was wrong when he'd been in there for 12 hours before you left??" "Umm, well, he usually...uhh...I mean..." It's hard to get out of that situation without getting arrested or being branded as some kind of homo-erotic-aqua-sadism-fetishist, and I honestly don't know which of those is worse. Wait, actually I do.

So anyway, yeah, I'm freaking out quite a bit 'cause school stopped fucking around this week and finally decided it was time to go for my throat, and it very well might take me down. 4 exams on Thursday--4! Not to mention 2 projects also due Thursday. How many hours until Thursday? Whatever number that is it's not big enough by a long shot. Kind of like my

Anyway, that's about all I've got right now.

Keep rocking everyone.

 

12/01 headlines

REPEL THE KRIG MENACE
FOR GREAT JUSTICE

I've never been more flattered; a couple of fellows by the names of Andy and Steve have used NESkimos music in a video game they coded for a school project.

(available for download again once the fan art section launches over Christmas Break)

11/26 headlines

HECK WEEK
THE WEEK OF HECK

Yep, the fall semester is winding down to a close. Or more accurately, going out with a Predator-style explosion in the jungle of pain. Welcome to the college, baby. You're gonna DIE.

So anyway, that sucks.

In NESkimos-related news, not much is going on. We did our MTV thing two weekends ago; or rather, the normal-human-looking robots I built to conceal our true identities did it. I gave them normal names, too. The illusion is complete. One of them came out kind of overweight, so to be fair I gave it a hairstyle shockingly similar to mine. I also built a robot to act as a television avatar for our friend Shredder, who joins us occaisionally to help out with some of the more demanding guitar duties. You know him from our recordings of F-Zero (wherein I 'guitar duelled' him and lost), TMNT, and Kirby (he's responsible for that massive shred-fest at the beginning of the rock-out part at the end). All in all, the robots did a pretty good job. We were pleased with their performance as we watched remotely from my Fortress of Evil.

It would also appear that we'll be doing some studio work over Christmas Break; we'll be recording our relatively new cover of the Zelda Dungeon music, and hopefully Bionic Commando Movement II. Also we'll be laying down our part of the Ninja Gaiden collaboration with Vomitron; he'll probably finish that sometime in January or so.

In the meantime, I've got four-thousand-billion things to do for school and all I want to do is get drunk. I may very well be fucked in this regard.

Whee.

11/19 headlines

ET TU, NESKIMOS?

So it's about that time when we should start getting more hits than Corey Haim's crack pipe, and yet the site STILL has not been completed. Who's to blame?

Me.

And yet, I beg forgiveness. Sometimes the crusade to bring hard rock covers of Nintendo music to every good boy or girl that wants them is eclipsed by my desire to graduate from college while not ignoring my girlfriend so much that she has time to realize what a loser she's been with all this time, and for that I am sorry. Hopefully this weekend I may have a free day, in which case I promise to make at least one major improvement to the site.

In the meantime, I just learned that the legendary SEANBABY will be the host of MTV''s show that we'll be on, and I am suddenly afraid of his razor-sharp wit. Especially considering I straight-up plagiarized his 'Nintendo Logic' gag while floundering for something funny to say during the 'interview' portion of the MTV segment.

Won't someone just give me a briefcase full of money so that I can spend the rest of my life drinking high-priced scotch?

11/11 headlines

LATE NIGHT WARS END
EARLY MORNING PWNZ COMPETITION

There has been no actual site update. I just wanted to say hi. So....hi!

 

 

 

 

That was lovely.

11/07 headlines

...I'M TIRED...
ARE YOU ALSO TIRED?

I really should NOT be tired, however, because there is still so much work to be done in the fight against the stuff that we fight against.

MTV will be here next weekend, then it's back to the Ninja Gaiden collaboration with Vomitron, and don't forget the website (which I have been working on, only it would appear not enough, so there you have it). I was up till 6am last night cramming for a test in a class I had been planning on withdrawing from for the last 3 weeks but then found out that wasn't something I could really, well, do, per se, so I had to teach myself how the combinational logic of computer microarchitecture works. Anyone that would like to know, go fuck yourself. It's a secret now, bitch.

As you can see I'm a little delirious at the moment.

Anyway, I apologize for being slow with the updates. Seriously, I do. To make up for it, I am treating everyone with a special super bonus extra ultra surprise: the station IDs me and Mario did for GamingFM a while back (which I still haven't actually heard on the station, but this might have something to do with the fact that most of the computers I use throughout the cours eof the day have no speakers or headphones [note also that I do not mention this in an ultra-hip way, as if I were boasting about how little television I watch, but rather as a bemoanful lament at the university computer labs which imprison me for many, many hours each day]). Of course, the radio spots might just be too gay to actually be part of a real, actual broadcast of any kind, even internet streaming audio.

But they aren't too gay for you to download from neskimos.com!!!

(that could have gone better)

Radio Spot 1: "Needless Tragedies" (547 KB)
Radio Spot 2: "Gator Wrastlin'" (546 KB)

If that's not enough for you, our friend BTB from the forums gave the heads-up on an UP-TO-DATE archive of Seanbaby stuff from that 'Wave" newspaper thingy he writes for now. There's bandagles and odlanfrums full of new Seanbaby articles (or at least stuff that was never on seanbaby.com).

10/31 DEADlines

HAPPY HALLOWEEN
today, abducting children is so easy
it's almost not fun anymore

10/30 headlines

DID SOME MORE WORK ON THE WEBSITE
TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW
(IT'S A PERSONAL BEST)

A winner is me! A winner is me! YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Not much to say, however; if I wanted to gripe about my personal life on the intar-web I'd get a b70gg. (That was 7eet h4x0r sp33k for 'blog.')

It's not much but it's, at least, a start. The menu squares have been de-crapified and now look cool. I'll do even more to them when I have time for detail work which, and at this point I feel I should be realistic, might very well be never.

Never fear, though, the rest of the website is officially a part of my work schedule now (otherwise I'd never do it) so it'll be growing gradually. Like a penis. Oh Mr. Hat, this is the best site update we've ever written.

10/29 headlines

DID SOME WORK ON THE WEBSITE
SERIOUSLY, I DID

Then, after it wouldn't stop breaking, I kinda gave up for the night. One thing that does work now, though, is the yellow square will now take you to the message board, and the green one takes you to our mp3 download page over at SoundClick. The others make your cursor turn into a hand but they open dead links at the moment. Sorry, but now I need sleep. I'll do more tomorrow.

Anyone pick up the new Perfect Circle CD yet? I haven't but I bet it kicks ass.

My roommate's been in the shower for 4 hours. I'm not making this up. I can hear him snoring in there. Fucking choad.

Good night.

10/14 headlines

GO-TO

News and assorted tidbits:

NESkimos Collaborate With Vomitron

It is official - Vomitron, the mysterious hard-rocking entity who did the very decisive and complete rendition of Contra, will be joining forces with the NESkimos for a little Ninja Gaiden action; namely, level 1, the boss music, and the timeless music from the dramatic opening movie wherein Ryu's father dies like a bitch honorably on the field of battle. This piece will be released as the first ever (that we know of) video-game cover MUSIC VIDEO, with a Flash movie inspired by and based on the immortal ninja duel. There is no official release date as of yet, but will most likely be finished in a few weeks.

NESkimos on MTV?

We received a phone call from a gentleman at MTV headquarters in New York who wanted to know if we'd be interested in participating in a show they're (tentatively) doing about the history of video games and the memorable music therein. It is, as mentioned before, a tentative project, but we were nonetheless contacted, so we may very well be playing Zelda on MTV right after Justin airs his new hit song that his producers ripped off from Donna Summer and the collective MTV demographic's mother comes in and tells the collective MTV demographic that it's past their bedtime.

More on this as it develops.

Website Will Be Done Soon

I'm way behind on the website, I'll admit it. Been very (read: extremely) busy with school and other pressing matters and I promise within 7 days I will have the website finished as it was originally intended to be. On that agenda are the following:

Front page links (yeah, those 5 boxes up there in the corner actually have a purpose beyond just looking cool):

Media - Official NESkimos downloads; all our songs, bonus materials, etc.

Merchandise - T-shirts, posters, anything else we have for sale (support free music!)

Messages - Message boards, personal NESkimos pages, featured op-eds, informative stuff

Miscellanea - Bonus stuff like our print-sized fliers (advertising for us, little free posters for you), fan art, comic strips, tabs, cool links, etc.

Meta - Change the setting of the site itself (preferred display template [won't be implemented for a while]), tweaking, other stuff

Included in the website's additional material will be Mario's Official Gardening Tip Hotline, where he will answer all of your gardening questions. Seriously. We here at neskimos.com are thrilled to be bringing the lost art of horticulture together with the disciplines of video games and hard rock. It's such an obvious combination.

As mentioned in the front-page link descriptions, there will also be display themes based on Castlevania and Super Mario Bros. to go along with the Mega Man theme you see now. And, of course, there will be a newly-instituted firewall and downloading restrictions at the beginning of next month. Remember, people, download the song ONCE and save it with the rest of your mp3s. Contrary to popular belief, even if you only have one copy of the song, you can still listen to it MANY TIMES. Imagine that.

That about does it for now; I'm sure I've forgotten to mention something, but I'll remember it for the next update.

In closing, BUY A T-SHIRT and e-mail us at neskimos@neskimos.com and if you need something to amuse yourself with, I found a complete archive of the old HOWARD AND NESTER comics from Nintendo Power!

Enjoy.

10/10 headlines

GOT THE MP3S BACKED UP
HOPEFULLY THEY'LL STAY THERE

Thanks to J Paragon from the forum, we have our songs available for download at www.soundclick.com/neskimos/. We'll have to see over the next few days whether that can remain a long-term mirror for us after we get the mp3s back up here.

Speaking of which, examination of the site traffic has revealed some pretty peculiar stuff. Who needs 2000 copies of Mario, really?

So now we have to find a way to deal with the fact that some people on the inter-net exist for no good reason. I've crunched the numbers on this issue, and my preliminary results show that death squads would be impractical, so I guess we'll just have a use a firewall.

Not as sexy and brutally effective as a death squad, but in this case it will have to do.

10/09 headlines

MP3S TEMPORARILY DOWN

Sorry, had to cinch off the bandwidth for the time being. Alternate solutions are being investigated.

We are still looking for anyone with unlimited bandwidth and about 150MB of storage space to spare...

BE A HERO
SAVE THE NESKIMOS

Due to a freakin' hugely unbelievable (and sincerely, flatteringly appreciated!) demand for our MP3s, we are in need of mirroring for our music. If you, or someone you know has the resources to lend us a hand (and some storage space), please e-mail neskimos@neskimos.com.

What's in it for you?

Chocolate.

Mountains of it.

Seriously.

And who doesn't love chocolate?

Okay, to be totally honest, there isn't any chocolate in it for you. But if you like chocolate, help us out. Because you never know, we may suddenly come into a truckload of chocolate.

You just never know.

10/06 headlines

IF YOU'RE RUNNING NETSCAPE OR MOZILLA
GO TO NESKIMOS.COM/PLAIN/

If not...well, check it out. Nifty, eh? The next step is MORE CONTENT. I should have craploads of it up soon, and we should also have a universally compatible version of this main page up very soon, hopefully today/tonight.

10/05 headlines

T-SHIRTS AVAILABLE
OH YEAH

We've decided to go with two types: the standard-issue NESKIMOS SHIRT, and the official NESKIMO BLOODSHED SHIRT.

Both are available as a white t-shirt or a super-cool jersey (which basically means the sleeves are a different color, just like they used to make the Ghostbusters shirts in the eighties).

In other news, I ought to have more web-site in this web-site soon, and in the meantime we've got some good discussions going in the message board, where we're still taking requests of everyone's favorite NES songs.

Word up.

10/01 headlines

I'M NOT DEAD
I FEEL HAPPY

Me and Protoman (well mostly Protoman [well just Protoman]) have been working on adding cool stuff to the site. I've had millions and millions of school-related things to do, and there are still roughly that many to do in the future. But I've already started looking through the request list in the message board, so everyone make sure you make your voice heard on that. Thanks again to BTB for putting that together.

If you haven't been to the download page in a few days, popular request has caused a couple more songs to appear in the Bonus Materials section.

I think that's enough update for now.

9/27 headlines

HAD SOME PROBLEMS
FIXED THEM

w00t

9/26 headlines

LUCY...I'M HOME
YOU GOT SOME SPLAININ' TO DO

Hello everyone! It's your old friend, the NESkimos page update. Now I live in a box, protruding from the highest heights of Crash Man's penthouse of doom. The pink sphere over there keeps me warm and also powers my bong TV. So I'm doing pretty good. Things look pretty boring right now; basically just lots of blue...but it'll be getting spiced up soon.

As for neskimos.com, it's still in its infancy. It's got a little message board action up right now, as well as a lot of song download action. So everyone get the songs, send them to all your friends, and have a great time.

We've also been kicking around some ideas for t-shirts; so if anyone has any strong preference for any of them (or even a bright idea of their own) feel free to send it along to us at neskimos@neskimos.com. We're hoping to have some of these bad boys on sale soon.

In the meantime, enjoy the songs, I'll keep improving the site, and we'll all meet in the forum for a cold one. Word.